Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality
Moving on, I feel compelled to share this next short piece, because it concerns a topic that is near and dear to my heart: depression and low self-esteem.
This essay of sorts was actually written to a friend of a friend who has been struggling with his own depression, low confidence, and feeling "stuck" for lack of a better word.
Also, this man, Chris, is not exactly dealing with the best of circumstances.
He is a young, 18 year old man just out of high school, coming from a single-family home in gang-heavy Camden, NJ (one of the deadliest and most under-served cities in the U.S.)
The good thing is he is on the right path and has entered college as of September 2013. And from what my friend tells me (she was his high school mentor), he is a very smart, kind, and caring young man.
Chris wrote my friend, Melissa, an email telling her how life has been very tough, he's sad all the time, has trouble finding true friends at school, and that he feels like he's stuck with "no way out".
My friend then asked for some guidance from me, as I've dealt with many of the same exact issues myself in the past.
Here's what I said, and here's what I think anyone can apply to their life, whether depressed, just feeling down, out of luck, or feeling "not good enough" or "not worthy" or "defeated" or who think it's "too hard", or whatever it is keeping them from their goals, desires, and dreams:
"I know how you must feel, but it's not true that things won't get better. They always do. It just takes longer for some.
But that's never a reason to give up.
And I know it's hard to see now, but there's a good side to this, as there is with everything in life.
In this case, the good side is you're getting stronger every single day that you push through the struggles, hard feelings and negative thoughts.
You get so strong that by the time you overcome this (it always happens), you're a machine and nothing fazes you.
You will see amazing things come into your life and you will start doing amazing things.
And while everyone else is doubting themselves when the going gets tough...you'll laugh and get through difficulties like a walk in the park.
Because you've already done the hard work. You've seen the living hell on the bottom and you still fought it and made it out.
You've developed a massive level of inner strength and confidence, whether you realize it or not.
And when you bring this strength to anything in life, whether its writing music, starting a
business, getting lean, or doing whatever you want in life...you'll see that it's much easier for you than anyone else.
You've already done the much harder work of battling depression, and you're winning. Keep this with you when your mind keeps filling with you negativity and self-hatred. As real as it feels, every single second you fight it, you get better, smarter and stronger.
Here's a fun little exercise: think about anything and everything you want, no matter how insane it sounds. And write it down. If you want ten million dollars or a threesome with some gorgeous models or you want to buy your own island, or be famous, or have a 3 car garage with a Mercedes, Ferrari, and Aston Martin...or if all you want is to be happy every day, write it all down.
And understand that you can have it ALL. And you will.
When the time comes that you realize your true strength and potential, you'll see a miraculous transformation where you go after all your goals and desires...without letting anything stop you.
You'll rip shit up and destroy the competition, and you'll do it better and faster than anyone else.
So as bad as it looks now, just keep looking up. Keep on searching and striving for more.
A lot of people are stuck in depressive, hellish situations, and it definitely sucks, but there is ALWAYS a way out. Don't give up.
Also, there are little things you can do every day to start feeling better.
You see, every day is a chance to have an amazing life and do amazing things. Even more so, every day is a chance to help someone else or do a simple little thing to brighten someone's day.
The thing about life that most people don't tell you is...to build self esteem and to feel better, you have to:
1) Do esteem-able things
2) "Fake it til you make it"
Remember that you're the shit and you have an amazing personality. You have so much to give to others.
So much so that it'll make them smile and laugh and love their life...and after you do this, you'll see the rewards and happiness come back to you tenfold.
To be clear, you don't have to anything above and beyond to reap the benefits.
A simple smile or hello or just holding open the door could mean the world to someone.
While you're in your own dark spot, someone else could be in the same spot too. And you never know if you saying "hi" or smiling to them was the 1st nice thing someone said to them all week.
That simple little gesture could make someone's day, week or month. You just never know. So give a little bit back whenever you can. And when you seen the joy it brings them, you'll slowly but surely feel better too."
Moral of the story: NEVER give up. Keep pushing, keep working, and keeping reaching to be the best you can be. And one day you'll get it. And then you'll move on to even bigger and better things. Most importantly, keep helping others. Give all that you can through love and kindness, and you will reap the rewards tenfold. Challenge yourself and greatness will come. Itisn't always easy, that's for sure, but it is definitely worth it.
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